I'm Sick of THE SECRET

O.k., so I bought the book. I bought the book because someone in my writing group has been transformed by this book and video. She is so motivated, passionate and action-oriented. She is feeling positive and alive and driven. I'm so happy for her and impressed.

Since I have never been accused of being an optimistic, since I did find the Oprah shows on The Secret interesting, since I am trying to be more open minded at 40 - well, I gave it a shot.

Here's my truth. I am a person who WANTS to be complicated, who embraces the full range of emotions. I am not going to shut out every non-manifesting positive thought in the hopes of attaining more stuff in my life. It's not that I think perky and happy people are less socially conscious, though I admit that is a fear, as once one suffers it does seem to make them a touch more sympathetic to the suffering of others. But, with more energy, focus and drive, who wouldn't be even more of a helper to the world? Oprah may spend a lot of money on fine sheets but she certainly uses her wealth to make change as well. It seems possible for some to be living an abundant life AND socially aware.

Not me. I am not comfortable saying some thoughts and emotions are acceptable and some aren't, that while there are people who are magnets to crisis - they "attracted" it and that a failure to succeed is a failure to manifest with the imagination. I do not think starving babies have a failure of imagination or that their parents are not well acquainted with the secret.

However, I'm happy that some people find a dose of optimism and I admit that a focus on gratitude is necessary and life-changing. However, I spent my childhood denying and having to deny neglect, abuse and trying to focus on what we did have. It did not make people in my life more optimistic but more oblivious. So, for me, it is a radical political act to be honest and truthful about the good, bad and the ugly. And for me, some of my most painful experiences have informed my sharing from the heart, my volunteer work based not on feeling bad for others in a patronizing way but feeling bad with others and knowing how bad it feels to not have what one needs.

When I am in pain or am struggling I do need validation and not a perky pep talk. As soon as I allow the truth of what I feel in and can voice it, it begins a natural and organic transformation. Deny it and it stays underground and gets bigger and bigger until an ugly mood seems to be swimming in the blood coursing through my body. Nope. My secret is to be more accepting, to allow more and then to let go. And to try to be more grateful for what is already glorious and perfect which of course is everything!