I am so afraid I'll project and read too much into the questions and comments of my daughter. I'm am so afraid I will fail to notice the significance of a question or a comment.
My daughter is in the "I Love You" phase and so many times a day she says "I love you" in notes, in sentences, in sign language. But, sometimes she is so filled up she'll say something that stops me. The other day she said, "I love you so much I'm never going to give you away as presents."
"Thanks?" "I love you too?" "I'm never going to give you away either?"
NO. These do not suffice. "Oh sweetie, I love you so much too. But you couldn't give us away even if you wanted. We're your parents. You're stuck with us."
Too light? Not serious enough? Too serious.
I ask a bio mom, parent to three, did your kids ever say things like that?
"No," she says as though I asked if her children walked on their hands into pre-school class.
"How do I know?" I say, "I just want to make sure I"m not projecting."
"You aren't," she says.
Reassured isn't what I feel. What I do feel is inept, determined and grateful. The love of this little girl is so precious to me. When and how she makes sense of her story isn't going to be linear, scripted or by a book.
Not news to anyone who has been a parent I'm sure. Still news to me three and half years in.
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