16 Years

We celebrate the day of our first kiss. It was sixteen years ago, in the middle of the night, while Bob Dylan's Isis played in the background. We were in Florida. Here we are now, having a beautiful inside day, sharing cards and dinner. Our daughter got each of us anniversary cards which were adorable. We all "clanked" drinks at dinner having some "ohana" time. I am so lucky to be with a man who is passionate about his work, an activist career man and a talented poet. She's down-to-earth, optimistic and philosophical. He's sentimental and caring. A gratitude-filled day. My daughter wasn't feeling well and what was going to be a very busy active and social day turned into a beautiful, calm, peaceful, fun, crafty "do nothing" day. Agh...
Because I'm at home so often, I can lapse into "family time" feeling a lot like "my job" - the one I do all week. The older my daughter gets, the more family time is a true treasure I enjoy and not only "suck it up" for. That sounds harsh. But, for the first two years of parenthood I longed for alone time, a break from being on, from stepping away from my day dreaming and being so attentive and caring and careful. Mothering is a skill I worked hard to learn and while I have and had a lot of love waiting to be poured it took a while before my hand got steady.