I'll Teach You Asian

"I'll teach you about Asian," my four-year old daughter said. "You can teach me about..."

"Being Caucasian?" I asked as we were talking ethnicity and race.

She had noticed an Asian baby in a store and said, "Her hair is like mine. She looks like me."

"She's Asian."

Conversations just come up in the car, on walks and no matter how many discussions we have had, she understands ethnicity, race, hers and ours, at her own pace. Today, she was excited about the new words, happy to be something called Asian. Interestingly, at only four even though we are her parents she sees herself as expert on this thing called Asian because it is something she is and we are not. She sees us as expert on Caucasian because it's something we are that she is not. Of course, at four, she is expert on most anything. However, it's more than that.

What is undeniable about transacial adoption is that we are a race that our daughter is not. She is viewed as a minority in our culture. We, her parents, are not. We can read about what her experiene might be like, talk to my relatives and others who share her race, learn about her birth culture and as importantly, being an Asian-American - but we will never share our daughter's experiences or know how she feels.

How do we best equip her, prepare her, educate her about racism and also instill pride about her race? I would be lying if I said I can answer all of those questions.